


La Petite Mort

by SamBK



Category: Vis a Vis | Locked In (Spain TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Finger Sucking, I wouldn't be obsessed with kissing being too serious for them, If Ivan had made them kiss, Lesbian Sex, Strap-Ons, Vaginal Sex, Vis a Vis: El oasis, Zurena, mature - Freeform, the title says it all haha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:53:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27407620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamBK/pseuds/SamBK
Summary: La petite mort is an expression which means "the brief loss or weakening of consciousness" and in modern usage refers specifically to "the sensation of post orgasm as likened to death."
Relationships: Macarena Ferreiro/Zulema Zahir
Comments: 63
Kudos: 203





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

> Definitely based after the 1x07 of El Oasis, but takes a path away from the canon.  
> I don't even know where I want to go with this story, we'll see.  
> * coff coff * the rating could pass to explicit in the next chapters * coff coff *  
> If Ivan had made them kiss, I wouldn't be obsessed with the fact that kissing is so important to them. Basically this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> La petite mort is an expression which means "the brief loss or weakening of consciousness" and in modern usage refers specifically to "the sensation of post orgasm as likened to death."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:Definitely based after the 1x07 of El Oasis, but takes a path away from the canon.  
> I don't even know where I want to go with this story, we'll see.  
> * coff coff * the rating could pass to explicit in the next chapters * coff coff *  
> If Ivan had made them kiss, I wouldn't be obsessed with the fact that kissing is so important to them. Basically this.

Maca was preparing dinner when Zulema returned home that evening.  
"Hi," Maca greeted when the brunette opened the door.  
There wasn't a word in response, only the sound of Zulema's boots falling to the ground somewhere was heard.  
And then Zulema's body was behind Maca's, pressing her against the counter.  
Maca paralyzed for a moment but then she felt Zulema's hand pull her hair and her mouth kiss her neck, so a moan escaped from her.  
Zulema pushed Maca harder, sliding her hands all over her body until they reached her ass and squeeze.  
God! Maca had always dreamed such a moment.  
She felt that familiar warmth in her lower abdomen, but a small voice in her head told her that something was wrong. That it wasn't like Zulema to get into the van and fuck her after they told each other it would never happen again.  
Maca tried to turn around and Zulema let her. With one arm she moved what Maca was preparing, putting all in the sink.  
She put her hands behind Maca's legs and help her sit on the counter and then bring her mouth back to her neck. She sucked it a little and then ran her tongue over her.  
Maca closed her eyes, tilted her head back and groaned. This prompted Zulema to continue with her trail of bites and kisses to the V-neckline of the blonde's shirt.  
Maca wrapped her hand in the brunette's hair and pulled it back. "Zule" she called.  
Zulema put a hand between Maca's legs.  
"Zulema!"  
"Dont speak." She blew on her chest.  
Maca tried with all the strength she had to get that hand away from where she wanted to feel it.  
"Wait a moment."  
"I told you not to speak!" Zulema snapped, moving away a little to look at her.  
That was enough to make Maca stiffen "leave me alone!" she said shaking her legs.  
Zulema walked away and made her get off. She let her take a few steps and then push her hard on the bed.  
She settled herself astride her legs.  
"Zulema, fuck!"  
The brunette pinned her wrists with her hands, bringing them over the blonde's head.  
"I don't want to fuck let me go."  
"Fight me."  
"Really? Do I have to fight to let you let me go? I told you I don't want to."  
Zulema gasped her hips causing the same movement from Maca.  
"Your body says otherwise."  
"So what, are you going to force me like any rapist?"  
Those words erased Zulema's smile and made a shadow appear in her gaze.  
She let go of Maca. "You always have to screw it up," she said standing up.  
But the blonde grabbed her arm and made her come back down, this time next to her "I always screw everything, really? is it normal to go home and try to fuck me like that without even saying a word?"  
Zulema sighed "I just needed to release the tension."  
"I'd be happy to help you if you could share the reason."  
"What are you interested in? Joder, you've been desperate for my touch since New Year's Eve and now that I've finally done you the favor, would you rather talk?"  
"Fuck you Zulema. I don't want to fuck you because you're doing me a favor, I want you to want it too" this time it was Maca who straddled her "and you want it."  
Zulema smiled and sat up "I only want it because I love to see the effect I have on you."  
Maca wiggled her hips, creating friction between their tissues "do you mean that I don't have any effect on you?"  
Zulema shook her head. It wasn't that it didn't affect her, it's that she was good at hiding it.  
Maca gasped her hips again and again making the brunette smile and finally put her hands on the hips of the other to accommodate that movement.  
She brought her lips to her ear "you're just exciting yourself, Rubia."  
"Fuck," Maca said, bringing one of her hands into her pants.  
But Zulema immediately stopped her from the wrists "don't even think about it! Either I'll fuck you or nothing."  
The blonde leaned her forehead against Zulema's, closed her eyes and sighed.  
"Tell me you want me."  
"I'd be lying."  
"I do not believe you."  
Zulema shrugged "me das igual"  
Maca moved away a little to look at her. She had to decide what to do.  
Did she want to get fucked by Zulema? Absolutely yes.  
Did she want, however, to let Zulema win? Absolutely not.  
So she got off the top of the brunette "I'm going to fuck someone who wants me."  
Zulema laughed "but it won't be me, so what's the use?"  
"It makes me feel wanted, okay? I don't want to be fucked by you because one day you come back pissed off from who knows where and you have to let off the tension."  
Zulema couldn't tell her she wanted her but she couldn't let her go either.  
"Our faces are everywhere. They almost got me today, you know?" She dropped onto the bed.  
"What?"  
Zulema sighed "I was buying tobacco when a little boy saw me and started screaming 'it's the wanted lady.' I swear I wanted to kill him. "  
Maca burst out laughing and lay down next to her "the lady, really?"  
Zulema laughed "I felt so fucking old."  
"You are a little bit old, mmh? "  
"What did you say?" She began to tickle her hips.  
Maca began to laugh as she squirmed.  
"Sh-stop it!"  
"Say I'm not old!"  
"N — not ahahahah you are not!"  
Zulema stopped the tickling and half lay down on the blonde's body, who was still carrying a few laughs.  
"What happened after?"  
"I ran away without even buying tobacco. And now I'm out of cigarettes ... that fucking kid."  
"And you didn't think to tell me?"  
"I would have told you later."  
Maca shook her head "you can't solve everything with sex."  
"There's nothing to fix, I was just calming down in the absence of cigarettes."  
"But didn't we say never to do it again?"  
Zulema smiled "Promises are made to be broken."  
"You said we won't do it again to prevent the situation from getting complicated."  
"But thinking about it, you can't complicate anything, we've already fucked."  
"While we were high."  
"What does it mean?"  
Maca sighed "would you like to tell me that fucking without drugs is no different?"  
"Let's try it."  
Maca moved from under Zulema only to reverse their positions and straddle her "okay but let's try my way."  
The brunette raised an eyebrow.  
"If we have to do it, we really will and that involves kissing on the mouth."  
Zulema laughed "don't talk about it."  
"Why?"  
"Because sex is just sex. You would make it intimate with kisses."  
"But I need to kiss you!"  
"Do you need to kiss me?"  
"In general I say!" She add "I need to kiss the people I have sex with."  
"You can kiss me anywhere else on my body," she said, pulling herself up a little to place a kiss under her jaw. She put her hands on her hips.  
Maca let out a frustrated sigh.  
"Do you know why I got so angry?" She whispered on her neck "I thought that if they arrested me, you wouldn't even know" another kiss "you wouldn't know where to look for me and what happened to me."  
"And?"  
"And I don't want that to happen."  
Maca pulled back to look into Zulema's eyes and then bent down to kiss her.  
But it was Zulema who brought her head back before their lips touched "You don't respect people's wishes, Rubia?"  
"Why are you telling me certain things if you don't want me to kiss you?"  
"It's just what I think, it doesn't mean I want a kiss."  
"Then I'll have to go and get it from someone else."  
"Okay. After you're done here though."  
Maca shook her head "either all or nothing, Zulema. You don't want my kisses, you won't even have my body."  
"Do you really prefer to be fucked by someone else just because I won't let you kiss me?"  
"Yes."  
"Well do as you please. At least I'd fuck you as if you were worth something."  
Maca slapped her and then stood up "Do you think I'm going around fucking like I was an object? You don't know shit about me."  
  
She was humiliated, angry and so frail that a single touch would shatter her.  
  
She took the car keys and got out of the van.  
Zulema didn't move a muscle. The slap didn’t hurt her, she'd just been surprised by it. She didn't think she was making Maca so angry.


	2. II.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there is a prototype I hate in fic it's the one where Zulema is always seen as the bitch, the strongest, the most intimidating. While Maca doesn't even have a character, she is very weak for Zulema and never gets respected. When in the series she is literally the only person to stand up to her. Two identical sides of the same coin.  
> I'm trying to bring out this dynamic as much as possible, which is just what I love about them.  
> Hope you enjoy this second chapter xx.

When she got out of the van that night, she hadn't even considered where to go. She just wanted to get away from Zulema and those stupid words she had said to her.  
She couldn't stay in the car wandering around, so she decided to go to a bar, hoping to get distracted and find someone to offer her a drink, and maybe even an excuse not to have to go home.  
She was sitting at the counter when a man approached her.  
_Bingo._  
There was no need to go home.  
"What does a beautiful woman like you do all alone?"  
_My God. Men knew how to be so obvious._  
"Who tells you I’m alone?" she turned to look at him. He was cute, with brown curly hair and blue eyes. But a little too elegant in his white suit for such a place.  
"Anyone I need to worry about?" He smiled.  
Maca winked at him "not for the moment."  
"So there is somebody?"  
"I can be that someone to worry about if you wish."  
"It depends on how we mean it."  
Maca smiled "why did you come next to me?"  
"Because you're beautiful."  
"Yes, you already said that."  
"Then because I would like to sleep with a beautiful girl."  
Maca laughed "well I certainly appreciate the honesty."  
"Enough to follow me?"  
"Follow you where?"  
She didn't trust men much lately. And she didn't even have a weapon with her.  
"Out of here."  
"Maybe buy me a drink first, hmm?"  
"Oh how you prefer, Milady!" the man made a small bow, making Maca laugh.  
"You haven't told me your name yet."  
"Adrien." he said, holding out his hand.  
“ _Luisa_ " she answered, shaking his hand.  
"And what do you want to drink, Luisa?"  
She winked "surprise me."  
"What is happening here?" said a voice behind Maca.  
She didn't even need to turn around to know who it came from.  
"Do you know this woman?" Adrien asked.  
"Absolutely not."  
"Of course not" Zulema smiled "I walked in here, I saw you and I said to myself _hey, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, I have to talk to her_."  
"Aww, I'm flattered, really," Maca smiled.  
Adrien watched with curiosity the interaction between the two.  
"Stop the bullshit" said Zulema "come with me" She grabbed Maca by the arm and dragged her to the ladies room. She pushed her inside.  
"Zulema what the fuck are you doing?" Maca asked moving away from her.  
But the brunette was on her in an instant and pushed her towards the wall "don't you ever dare to do something like that again!"  
Seeing her with that man had aroused something in her.  
"What? Slap yourself or flirt with a guy at the bar?"  
"Don't mess with me, Rubia," she replied pinning her eyes to the other's.  
She had her trapped between her body and the wall, her hands on either side of her head to make sure she didn't escape.  
"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not afraid of you?"  
"I _terrify_ you."  
"No, I terrify you."  
Zulema liked how Maca was the only person who had ever crossed her path who never bowed her head when he spoke to her. To always look her in the eyes and stand up to her. But not on that occasion.  
"Or you wouldn't be here making a scene of jealousy." Continuous.  
"I'm not here out of jealousy."  
"What for? I told you I was going to get fucked by someone and you followed me."  
"That's not it!" she repeated, raising the tone of her voice.  
"And so why?"  
Zulema put her face close to Maca's ear "because you can't afford to leave me like that" she replied sliding a hand over the blonde's body.  
Maca stopped her run blocking her from the wrist "you must learn that nothing is due to you."  
"And you must to learn to shut up."  
"Force me."  
Zulema smiled "I said no kisses."  
"Why are you bringing up kisses? I never said how to make me shut up."  
"Oh and what other way would there be? Since you don't want to be touched."  
"I want to be touched. I don't want this attitude."  
"It is my attitude that excites you about me."  
"No, that's not true. Or at least not entirely. I don't like it when you show only this careless and selfish side. As if you don't care when you care or you wouldn't be here."  
Zulema rolled her eyes "Maca."  
"It matters to me too, what's the harm?"  
The knocking on the door distracted them from their discussion.  
"Luisa?" called a man's voice.  
_Adrien._  
"It's all right," Maca replied.  
"Is that woman there with you?"  
Maca did not go unnoticed by the look that Zulema threw towards the door at those words.  
"Yes and it's alright. You can go, really."  
There was a moment of silence but then the door opened "I just wanted to check that she was not threatening you" said the man, he noticed Maca with her back to the wall and Zulema not leaving her way out "but I see that it is not so."  
Zulema could no longer bear it "listen _hijo de puta_ " she said, turning around "she told you that everything is fine."  
"I'd like to hear it from her without your presence, maybe."  
Maca decided to step forward and stand in front of Zulema, before the situation worsened "Adrien is all right, really. I know her and we're just talking."  
"Ah, it's normal to talk while putting you with your backs to the wall? "  
"Well we were on the next step, you know, that's why we needed the wall."  
"Oh," the man realized, "were you raping her then?"  
They could tell her they were a bitch, a killer, a son of a bitch.  
But not a rapist.  
Zulema had had enough of talking and with a sprint she passed Maca to punch the man's face, making him flinch from the impact.  
"NO!" Maca yelled, trying to pull Zulema back.  
The man recovered from the blow, his face stained with blood at the height of his lip, and it was his turn to strike Zulema.  
The brunette laughed taking the blow, her teeth stained with blood.  
It wasn't the first time she had a fight with a man, and by now she had got used to the pain.  
Maca didn't want the situation to get worse, so she got between the two.  
Zulema didn't want to risk hitting Maca, so she didn't move.  
Adrien, for his part, wanted to take advantage of that moment and, sure to dodge Maca, threw another punch. Only to end up hitting Maca who fell tumbling to the ground.  
The man knelt beside her "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."  
But Zulema saw red. She pulled him upright, only to put two hands around his neck and squeeze.  
_He was not supposed to touch her person. Not even by mistake._  
The man fidgeted and tried to free himself from the woman's grip with poor results.  
Maca got up and ran to stop Zulema "leave him!" She screamed as she tried to remove her hands from his neck. But Zulema didn't listen to her, she seemed lost in the act of killing that man.  
Maca took her face in her hands, trying to force her to look at her "stop please."  
Those angry eyes met hers at last, and after a second Macarena saw a sweeter look. The one Zulema only had when she looked at her.  
She let go of the man only to turn completely and place her hands on Maca's hips.  
"Go home," the blonde told her.  
"Let's go home."  
"No, _you_ go home." Maca moved away slightly.  
"What? He punches you and now it's my fault?"  
"You started!" she said aloud "if you didn’t come, none of this would have happened." she took a couple of steps back, putting a distance between them.  
"Maca I'm not leaving without you, end of story." Zulema answered resolutely, wiping her mouth with the edge of the sweatshirt.  
"Why should I come with you? You came here with the arrogance of fucking me in a bathroom after pissing me off. You didn't even apologize."  
"You slapped me, didn't you? We're even."  
Maca shook her head "you are incredible, you know? Who do you think you are?"  
Zulema just looked at her.  
"I'm not going with you." Maca concluded.  
"Listen, come back home, I'll go somewhere else. But let's get out of here."  
Maca shook her head "if you don't go, I'll go. And not at home. You decide."  
"Maca"  
"Decide." she admonished her.  
Zulema sighed and without adding another word walked away from Maca and left that place.


	3. III.

Zulema was awakened by the wheels of a car crawling on the ground. She took the gun nearby and went to check out from the windows.  
She saw a familiar car. Their car. The last one they had stolen.  
She looked at the empty bed. _Right_. Maca didn't come home.  
Not yet at least.  
She looked at the time. Five in the morning.  
She snorted. Maca had surely stayed with that man, until then...  
The van door opened and Maca entered. She looked at Zulema leaning against the table with a gun in her hand but said nothing. She had enough of her.  
She put the keys in the next cabinet and acted as if she hadn't even seen her. She went into the bathroom leaving the door open while she removed her make-up with a cotton ball and tonic water.  
"You came in late," said Zulema, approaching the bathroom and casually leaning on the door jamb.  
Maca didn't answer.  
"Did you stay with that man?"  
The blonde rolled her eyes "it's none of your business."  
"Why not?"  
Maca turned to look at her "what do you mean by why not? Because we are not together, you are nothing to me and I don't owe you any explanation."  
Zulema approached her and brushed her cheek that had received the punch that night with his fingertips, a small bruise was visible now.  
"I'll kill him," Zulema whispered.  
Maca hated the way a simple touch of the brunette or her proximity could confuse her.  
She took a step back and went back to removing her make-up "cute how you want to kill a guy who just hit me by accident" she said casually "however I assure you that he is totally a gentleman for _everything else_."  
Zulema let out a chuckle "what, do you want to make me jealous?"  
Maca turned to look at her "there is no need. You already are."  
"I'm not."  
"Well you look very bothered by anybody around me. How do you call this?"  
Zulema seemed to think about it "it just annoys me that you let everyone fuck you and not me."  
Maca widened her eyes.  
A slap hit Zulema's cheek.  
"I didn't mean that!" Said angry the brunette "and stop hitting me, coño!"  
"Learn to use words then." She gave her a shove with her shoulder as she passed her to exit the bathroom.  
But Zulema immediately pulled her back by the wrist "I didn't mean that, I swear."  
"This is already the second time you have insinuated too much about my sex life."  
"Then I wanted to get a reaction. Now it just came off bad."  
"And you haven't apologized yet."  
Zulema laughed, easing the tension a bit "since when do we apologize? _You hit me once, I hit you back. You gave a kick, I gave a slap. You smashed a plate over my head, I set fire to our bed_. That's how it works between us. You hit me. Twice. We're even. _Iguales_. "  
Maca smiled "don't use the _iguales o nada_ against me."  
"Well you insisted on being equal, didn't you?"  
Maca turned serious "don't divert the focus of the conversation. So what did you mean?"  
Zulema licked her lips. She had to choose her next words carefully. "I meant it seems like the only person you have trouble having sex with is me."  
"Because you're the one who have a problem."  
"For the kissing thing?"  
Maca nodded "Kisses are exciting, Zulema. And there is nothing more beautiful than kissing someone right after they come, while you are still trembling with orgasm."  
Zulema breathed heavily from her nostrils. She wanted to be the one to make Maca come, she wanted to feel her tremble under her body thanks to the orgasm she had given her.  
"How can you not like kisses?"  
"I never said I don't like them, I said they are too intimate."  
Maca laughed "it's absurd how you think kisses are intimate but sex isn't."  
"Sex is too. But less so. I've had sex with people out of desire or to get something, but I've never kissed anyone for the same reasons."  
"Have you ever and only kissed who you loved?"  
"I kissed Hanbal."  
"And?"  
Zulema shrugged.  
Maca burst out laughing "have you ever kissed anyone else?"  
"I haven't had any other relationships. I wasn't as desperate as you to bond with the first person who woo me."  
"Look, there is nothing wrong with wanting love and taking it from those who give it to you. You always try to make me feel weak for it, but having been loved and wanted by someone has always reminded me that, after all, I am not totally a shitty person."  
A chuckle escaped from Zulema's lips "well the two people who loved you also left you, didn't they? Apparently you weren't even a nice person."  
"Better than you that you've only ever had people who hate you."  
"So it's a challenge now? Who did make herself hated less?" She rolled her eyes and smiled "in the end it doesn't matter and you know why? We both ended up in this shit hole anyway."  
Maca placed a hand on her chest and gently pushed her "don't call home a shit hole."  
Zulema brought a hand over Maca's, still in her chest "and you don't push me."  
"And you stop playing."  
Zulema smiled, leaned forward "I'm not playing."  
Maca rolled her eyes "what do you want, Zulema?"  
She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and walked over "I want to know if you liked fucking with that guy" kissed her under the ear  
"Was he better than me?"  
Maca swallowed and tried to stay alert and focused.  
"Better than that night we were high? Definitely..."  
Zulema pulled back a little to look at her "are you just saying that to provoke me? You know that if you tell me something like that then I have to fuck you to prove the opposite."  
Maca smiled "or is it simply the truth that hurts you?"  
"Well we just have to find out if it's actually the truth, hmm?"  
"And how do you intend to find out?"  
"Who's playing now, Rubia?" she mischievously looked her in the eyes and then leapt to her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very small, I know. But the next is THE chapter.  
> The words that Zulema says "I hit you once, you hit me back ..." are from the song A Kiss with a Fist by Florence which is Zurena af, I recommend listening to it. ♥


	4. IV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments are welcome <3

"Well how long are you going to stay there?"   
Zulema took Maca by the hand and dragged her to the bed with reluctance and then pushed her over.  
She was surprised that Maca didn’t say anything, but also satisfied. So she straddled her.  
"Are you craving to fuck me that you forget about kisses?"   
Maca sat up "I just learned that when you want something, you just have to take it" she said, and then she put a hand behind Zulema's neck and draw her to herself making their lips collide in a messy kiss.  
Maca's tongue slipped easily into Zulema's mouth. She brought her hands to Zulema's ass to pull her closer, and the brunette's hips tilted, creating that mild but celestial friction on Maca's clit.  
Zulema felt Maca moan in her mouth, and the desire to fuck her grew even more inside her.  
They part panting, staring into each other's eyes and mixing their breaths.  
Maca closed her arms around Zulema's body to keep her from running away, but the brunette brought her hands over the other's arms to extricate herself from that grip.  
"Don't go away," Maca said, "it's happened now, we’re not backing down."  
"I'm not leaving and we won't go back" Zulema clarified, "but don’t hug me. I agree to kiss you just to have sex."  
Maca untangled that grip and put his hands on Zulema's thighs and then leaned out trying to get another kiss that the brunette avoided, pulling back, "undress" she said, getting up to allow Maca to move.  
But the blonde wasn't a puppy dog who followed orders, there were two players in this game.  
So she stood up and slowly pulled her shirt off over her head, keeping her bra on.  
Maca keeps her eyes fixed on Zulema's while she unbuttoned her pants, slipping them onto her legs and slowly swung her hips up and down, letting them fall to the ground.  
Maca bit her lip staring again at the brunette and Zulema could not take it anymore.  
She threw herself on Maca and kissed her again, immediately exploring the blonde's mouth with his hot tongue. She pushed her back onto the bed and settled on top of her. She sucked on her neck as her hands teased her nipples over the lace of her bra.  
Zulema was barely touching her but her body was already on fire.  
When the brunette took the hard nipple into her warm mouth, her back arched and Zulema loose her bra, throwing it away.  
Zulema spent a generous amount of time on her breasts, alternating her fingers and mouth, between sucking and lightly biting. "Zulema" Maca whimpered when she felt her wetness in her underwear.  
Maca needed Zulema’s tongue somewhere else.  
"Mmh," Zulema replied, as her mouth enjoyed her new favorite spot.  
"Please," Maca begged, moving her hips in a desperate effort to get a little friction that could satisfy her.  
Zulema just chuckled, couldn't say no to a horny Maca.  
She left a last kiss in the space between her breasts and then went down south of her body.  
She left a kiss on top of Maca's wet underwear and smiled at how wet she was for her.  
Maca's hips moved upward at that contact, trying to get something more.  
Zulema nibbled the inside of her thigh "calm down, Rubia, enjoy the moment" she said, placing a few more kisses around there. Maca got up on her elbows and brought a hand to meet the black hair of Zulema  
  
"Zulema" called with all the frustration she was feeling.  
The brunette smiled and then decided it was enough, so she pulled down Maca's panties a bit to get the right access.  
Her tongue licked the wet folds before her lips closed around her clitoris, sucking it gently, followed by a small flick of the tip of her tongue.  
The guttural sound that came from Maca made Zulema moan as her tongue licked every inch of her opening.  
Maca tilted her hips up and down because that puto elfo was really good, and she just couldn't get enough of that tongue.  
  
That tight feeling in her abdomen hit her and Zulema felt her walls tighten, but she refused to let that be the way Maca would come. Not so fast.  
A loud groan of frustration escaped Maca's lips as Zulema abruptly stopped "No hey, don't stop."  
The brunette stretched out next to her, leaning on an elbow, "open your legs" she ordered and Maca did not repeat it twice, spreading her thighs completely, revealing all her opening.  
Zulema put his free hand on Maca's clitoris and started to rub it in small circles "I told you I love to see the effect I have on you" he said, and then pressed two fingers into Maca.  
A labored moan escaped Maca's lips.  
Zulema set a pace, pumping in and out of the blonde as she enjoyed Maca's closed eyes and half-open mouth whimpering with pleasure.  
Maca clenched her fists in the sheets and arched her back while with her hips went to meet the Zulema’s thrusts, who - realizing that the blonde was close - inserted a third finger and increased the speed.  
When she felt the walls of Maca tighten around her fingers, she bit her at the base of her neck, trying to give her some extra help in reaching her orgasm.  
Moments later Maca's body stiffened. Her mouth opened in a silent scream. She grabbed Zulema's hair hard and pulled her to herself as her back arched. The kiss was a mess of teeth and tongues but Zulema had to admit that Maca was right: kisses were beautiful during sex.  
Because she had never felt anything more satisfying than hearing Macarena moan in her mouth as she came thanks to her.  
Maca felt a shiver go through her whole body, a strange tingling from the back of her neck to her toes that didn't make her breathe for a moment. It was like dying and being reborn at the same time. She stood with her mouth half open and her eyes closed in ecstasy as she felt Zulema's fingers driving her orgasm, before coming out of her heat.  
" _La petit mort_ ," Zulema said.  
Maca opened her eyes and looked at her in confusion.  
"When you have an orgasm so strong that you feel close to death, only to be reborn," she explained, bringing her own fingers to her mouth and sucking while keeping her eyes hooked on Maca's.  
The blonde pulled her back for another kiss, wanting to taste herself in Zulema's mouth, moaning at her own taste.  
The brunette smiled, deciding that yes, her new favorite sound was hearing Maca moan in her mouth. But she would never have said it out loud.  
Maca moved slightly away to look at her "you look pleased."  
"I am."  
"For that petite mort thing you just made up?"  
Zulema chuckled "I didn't make it up."  
"Well anyway it's always like that, you know, it has nothing to do with you."  
"Even those stupid men satisfy you like this?"  
"Why do you call them stupid if you sleep with them too?"  
Zulema shrugged "because I'm better than everyone. Men, women ... you just got fucked by the most competent person in the world."  
Maca laughed "well the most competent person in the world wants the favor returned?" she said, pulling on Zulema's shirt, which she was still wearing along with the shorts she'd gone to sleep in.  
"Not today, cariño, it's already morning and you should really sleep."  
"Vale," Maca replied, getting up and adjusting her underwear and then taking a large gray sweatshirt from the closet.  
"I think I'll go buy the cigarettes," Zulema said, getting up to get dressed too.  
"Now?"  
She shrugged "Yeah, vending machines, you know? And then I want to see the sunrise!"  
"I want to see it too."  
"Get on the roof then."  
"No, I want to go with you."  
Zulema shook her head " we fuck twice and you get clingy, Rubia?"  
"We fuck twice and you run away?"  
Zulema frowned "I'm not running away, I want to smoke and there are no cigarettes. Why should I run away? It's not like I have anywhere else to live" took the car keys and headed for the door.  
But the truth was, Zulema didn't know exactly how to sleep next to Maca after what happened. They couldn't ignore it, but it wasn't like everything was normal either.  
Going to sleep as if nothing had happened seemed strange to her.  
"Zulema" Maca called her, realizing that something was wrong "are we okay?"  
"Of course we are."


	5. V.

Maca woke up feeling various smells in the air.  
She opened one eye and focused on Zulema's figure fumbling with the stove.  
"What are you doing?" she grumbled.  
"Good morning, Rubia, it's three in the afternoon."  
"Joder...I slept a lot."  
"I let you do it because I know I am demanding and that I have exhausted you."  
Maca smiled "nah it's Adrien's fault."  
"This lie will cost you your lunch."  
"What are you cooking?"  
"Scaloppine."  
Maca burst out laughing.  
"De que te coño te ríes?" she said deadly serious.  
"Sorry. But how many people in the world can say they have seen the fearsome Zulema Zahir cooking scaloppine?"  
"As if I've never cooked."  
"Yes, a plate of pasta, barely. Not such elaborate dishes."  
"Developed for you."  
Maca laughed and got out of bed.  
She walked over to Zulema and peered over her shoulder at the stove. Then she looked at the brunette's face. She seemed calm as she cooked their lunch. And maca was glad that Zulema felt calm. She too felt calm at that moment.  
She placed her hands on Zulema's hips and stood up on her toes to kiss her neck.  
"Don't make things strange, Rubia." she said moving a little to make her go away.  
"Define strange."  
Zulema turned and pushed her lightly "kiss me when you wake up in the morning. This is weird." she returned to the stove while a smile touched Maca's lips "what's wrong? We always touch, even if doesn't involve sex."  
"There is a huge difference between our bodies touching each other outside of sex and kissing me outside of sex."  
"But we kissed yesterday." she objected.  
"I told you it was just for sex. Can you understand such a simple concept or do I have to draw you a picture?"  
"Okay, calm down" she raised her hands in surrender "don't get mad."  
"Then don’t make me mad."  
Maca moved "I better leave you alone" she said, and then get out of the van and stretch her body still a little numb from sleep.  
Zulema smiled at that word. Alone. As if such a thing was possible since they shared that tiny living space.  
  
  
  
Soon they found themselves at the dining table to eat, and Zulema carefully studied Maca's expressions as she took the first bite.  
The blonde chewed softly, knowing that Zulema was thrashing to hear her opinion.  
"Then?" asked the brunette.  
"Mmh"  
"Mmh what?"  
"It's good."  
"Just good?"  
Maca smiled "what do you want me to say? That is the best thing I've ever eaten?"  
"Well ... yes."  
"Well no. Settle for a good."  
Zulema took a bite "I knew it."  
"Knew it what?"  
"It tastes great but you don't want to admit it."  
Maca burst out laughing "I'm not the one who has a problem admitting things."  
"When did I not admit something?"  
"Like continuosly?"  
Zulema seemed to think about it: "well I don't think so."  
"You think admitting something makes you weak." Maca explained "like being jealous."  
Zulema rolled her eyes "oh god, why are you obsessed with this? I already told you what the problem was."  
"Of course you just wanted to fuck me too, okay ... then it won't happen again?"  
"What?"  
"Sex."  
She shrugged "if we want it why not?"  
"So you want to fuck me again?"  
"I'm eating right now, okay? I don't know."  
Maca nodded "but would that be exclusive?"  
Zulema rolled her eyes.  
"I mean," Maca said immediately, "can I sleep with other people or just you?"  
"You can do whatever the fuck you want."  
Maca smiled "good, luckily."  
Zulema frowned "luckily?"  
"Yeah well you know, Adrien is pretty good."  
"It's risky to see the same person several times."  
"I know but I'll be careful, I promise."  
_Are you not satisfied?_ She wanted to ask her. _I'm not enough?_ But she said nothing. Or Maca would once again accuse her of being jealous and she wasn't jealous.  
She just didn't understand why to keep sleeping with that guy if she could sleep with her.  
Was it possible that she satisfied her more? What could this man have that she lacked?  
"Are you doing it to make me jealous?" churches.  
Maca burst out laughing "why should I make you jealous?"  
"I don't know, tell me why you should tell me such a thing. When you know it's risky. And you know what my answer will be."  
She shrugged "I was genuinely interested."  
"Coño, are you serious? We are wanted _everywhere_. You won't see anyone anymore."  
"And who are you to establish it?"  
"The only person who apparently thinks."  
Maca rolled her eyes "don't worry, they have pictures of us in wigs and clothes that we never use outside of robberies."  
"I'd be quieter if you didn't necessarily have to do this bullshit."  
"It's not bullshit."  
"I'm here, I'll fuck you. Enough. Don't put yourself in this situation."  
"You just said it's not exclusive."  
"Because it's not like we're together."  
"Perfect, in fact I need to see other people."  
"What do you need? I'll take care of it."  
Maca laughed "Zulema you are not always all that people need."  
"Then, tell me what you need," the brunette snapped.  
"It's not about what I need, it's about the need I have to see him because I like him."  
Zulema widened her eyes "Oh now do you like him? My god how stupid you are."  
Maca looked at her puzzled "what is your problem?"  
"Do you think you should be infatuated with someone? You're an outlaw, coño!"  
"So what? Will I have to spend my whole life not creating bonds?"  
Zulema closed her eyes and sighed. She was tired of Maca's talk about love and feelings. There were more important things.  
She opened her eyes again and looked at her "Just do whatever the fuck you want. But if they find you I don't care. I'm not going to get you. You can die as far as I'm concerned."  
Maca laughed "as far as you are concerned can I die? Why am I not surprised ?"  
Zulema stood up.  
"Where are you going?"  
"The discussion is over."  
But Maca promptly grabbed her arm as she passed her "you don't decide when the discussion is over, we're talking."  
Zulema tugged her arm away from that grip "I don't talk to anyone who doesn't understand shit."  
"Just because I don't think the same way you do doesn't mean I don't understand shit."  
Zulema went up to her face "there is no other way to think about this. I'm right and you're just acting like a sixteen year old with hormones in turmoil."  
"If you tried to put yourself in my shoes, maybe you would understand that-"  
"I don't have to do anything" she interrupted her "and guess what, I don't care at all. Do what you want, be recognized, arrested, kill ..." she went back into the van only to get her car keys and cigarettes " actually, while you're there, let him come here, okay? I'll leave you the home free. " she concluded, getting into the car and leaving without waiting a minute longer.  
  
Maca smiled. For someone who shouldn't have cared about in the least, she cared too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, thanks for the feedback which is always appreciated!  
> The next chapter is coming soon and you don't want to miss it ...


	6. VI.

It was evening when Zulema had been back at the van for ten minutes, but she had not yet gotten out of the car.  
She wanted to make sure that guy wasn't there.  
Well, not that there were any vehicles around...  
and the lights in the van were out though...  
Was he just picking up Maca and she was staying with him?  
_Better this way_ , she thought.  
She had no desire to see her, to talk to her, to listen to her.  
The van’s door swung open at that moment "que coño haces?" Maca yelled "are you going to stay there all night?" she asked, stepping back into the van and turning on the lights.  
Zulema would never admit it to herself, but seeing Maca in her house gave her immense tranquility.  
  
So she took an envelope from the seat next to her, got out of the car and headed into the van.  
"What the hell were you doing?" Maca asked, back to lie down on the bed.  
"I didn't much like going back in," she shrugged.  
"Are you still angry for no reason?"  
"I have too many reasons," she replied, sitting at the foot of the bed to take off her boots, "but it also depends on how you answer the next question."  
"I’m listening."  
"Was he here?"  
"Adrien? Oh yes!" she smiled "we had a lot of sex! It was great, you know. But he left before I got back, I'm sorry" she pouted "would you like to say hello?"  
Zulema shook her head and smiled. She turned to face her and then began crawling towards her until her body hovered over her.  
"You're lying."  
"No."  
"You are very stupid, but not so stupid as to make someone come to the only safe place we have."  
Maca smiled and wrapped her arms around Zulema's neck to draw her to her "you're so smart" she teased "you can't hide anything."  
"Are you kidding me?"  
"I would never dare to," their noses touched.  
"Be careful what you do, Rubia."  
But warnings with Maca had never worked, in fact, they spurred her even more to do what she wanted.  
So she tried to get their mouths closer.  
"We don't kiss outside of sex" Zulema sat up a little.  
"Shut up, please."  
"Maca." she warned her.  
"Then why the fuck did you come close?"  
"Because I wanted to fuck you."  
"Then kiss me, coño!"  
"First assure me you won't see that guy again."  
Maca looked at her "I'll see that guy again because I like him, it's better if you get over it."  
Zulema frowned, but she didn't really want to make a scene now. Or to be told that she was jealous.  
"I got you something." she said, walking away to go back to the end of the bed where she had left a bag she had got out of the car.  
He handed it to Maca who bowed his head to one side, curious "Zulema giving a second gift? I'm starting to worry."  
"Well I don't know if it's really a gift ..."  
Maca opened the package, staring at the object for a moment, then burst out laughing.  
She turned her attention back to Zulema "did you really get me a dildo?"  
"Don’t you like it?"  
Maca seemed to think about it "I should try it first to say it."  
"Let's try it then."  
The blonde approached her with a smirk "so you want to fuck me with a dildo?"  
Zulema nodded softly as she looked at her.  
"Use the words."  
The brunette licked her lips "I want to fuck you so hard. And I want to hear you scream as you come thanks to me."  
Maca hated that just watching Zulema as she said those words was enough to make her feel the familiar warmth in her lower belly. "Put it on, then" she said.  
Zulema took the flesh-colored toy with a black strap from the package and got out of bed. She began to tie it around the waist and Maca burst out laughing "No, not over the clothes”  
"I don't want to undress."  
"All right, then” she answered resolutely.  
"What?"  
"You don't want to undress, I'm not interested in fucking."  
Zulema immediately pulled down her beloved cargo pants, remaining in her underwear "the best I can offer you."  
"Curious how obedient you become as soon as you have something to lose."  
The brunette decided that she would pay her for that comment. But not now. After. When she would have the control and the power to do whatever she wanted to her.  
"And how can you not even reply. I could get used to this" she smiled, "you have to take off your sweatshirt anyway."  
Zulema sighed, pulling off the rock band sweatshirt and staying in a black bra, paired with underwear.  
Maca looked at her in hypnotism. She had never seen her so discovered and she was beautiful. More than usual at least.  
Zulema tied the strap on around her hips and then looked back at the blonde "how is it?"  
Maca swallowed. Why did she find the image of half naked Zulema wearing a dildo so exciting?  
Was it Zulema who made anything exciting?  
  
Maca reached her with predatory movements and stopped a few inches away.  
She smiled mischievously putting her hand on the toy and starting to press against the brunette's body that she swallowed to feel that slight movement over her clit.  
Maca looked into Zulema's eyes, noticing how dark they were with desire.  
"It's not about me," Zulema said softly, stepping forward to touch their bodies.  
The toy touched Maca's legs through her pants, causing the blonde to take a deep breath for that contact "not tonight, at least" concluded Zulema, smiling at Maca's reaction.  
So she put a hand behind Maca's hair and pulled her to her, crashing their mouths into an almost desperate kiss. She nibbled on Maca's lower lip and used the blonde's escaped moan to stick her tongue into Maca's mouth, deepening the kiss.  
When they finally needed to breathe, they separated, but only just enough for Maca to see Zulema's eyes blink, and then feel her arms lift her to let her fall on the bed.  
  
Maca swallowed as she saw Zulema chase her body like a predator.  
She rubbed her legs, trying to soothe even the slightest bit of pain that burned between them.  
"Ha ha." Zulema scolded her, grabbing Maca's knees and forcing them to separate, settling between them.  
Maca groaned at her, her legs wrapping Zulema automatically, unable to stop herself from unconsciously pushing herself into the woman's abdominals above her, rocking her hips in small circles, trying to gain even the slightest friction from her.  
But Zulema slid forward, grabbing her wrists and fixing them over her head with one hand, while her other hand dropped to Maca's waist, interrupting the visceral plea of the woman smaller than her.  
"Zule..." Maca begged "I need to-"  
"You need what I say, when I say it"  
Zulema said warmly against Maca's ear, stinging soft kisses against her jaw, and Maca sobbed, straining to touch Zulema with any body part she could handle, but Zulema deftly avoided her, deftly controlling their contact.  
"You have to keep them here," said the brunette, squeezing Maca's wrists in reference.  
Maca took a few shaky breaths and nodded.  
  
  
Zulema's hands slid to lift the hem of Maca's shirt, and she quickly slid it from the blonde's head, then tossed it away, exposing her pale, toned skin.  
Her hands deftly opened the front buckle of Maca's bra, and she slid the cups out of her side, exposing her full breasts and heaving chest to her gaze.  
Zulema groaned at the sight of her, her hands cupped her perky flesh, her thumbs slipped over Maca's hardened nipples, and unable to restrain herself he pressed hard into her body beneath her, making both of them gasp. The sensation of their bodies pressed together sent an electric shock to their systems.  
Zulema latched onto Maca's nipple, sucking hard and causing Maca to scream at her contact, who pushed her chest forward against Zulema's mouth, desperate for more contact.  
Zulema decided to please her, shifted to her other breast and rolled her thumb around her red, hypersensitive area that she had left behind. Drawing with the tongue and fingers over and over again.  
  
Maca was dripping by now, she could feel it. And she just wanted Zulema to rip her pants off, stick the toy inside her and fuck her.  
She was aware that she was losing control, if she ever had one, she thought as she writhed under Zulema's touch, unable to satisfy the need for her rising in her belly, frantic with the touch, the contact, anything.  
Zulema seemed to sense her despair and quickly pulled herself up, slipped her sweatpants as the blonde lifted her hips enthusiastically, making her task easier.  
She also pulled off her panties and Maca reached out, unable to resist feeling Zulema's body against her anymore. The warmth of their skin pressed together was enough to make her almost cry, soothe her and ignite her passion at the same time.  
She ran her hands over Zulema's back muscles, and the reaction was primal and instantaneous, then she sank her fingers into her outstretched shoulder blades and abruptly sank her teeth into Zulema's collarbone, who couldn't control herself and pushed all her weight forward by pressing. on Maca exactly where she needed it most, the pressure on her clit enough to make her scream.  
  
Zulema pulled back and slid down her body, licking her lips as she moaned in appreciation, moving forward to wrap Maca's lower body in a hug, her tongue slid along the dripping inlet of Maca, her arms wrapped around her legs, her hands pressed against her sculpted hipbones to hold the other woman in place, as she guided her tongue into the slimy heat of Maca.  
Maca groaned and grabbed Zulema's locks, holding her steady, reluctant to part with this exquisite touch too for just a second. She could feel Zulema's tongue, wet and supple inside her, touching here, there and here again, fucking her quickly, relentless and demanding, squeezing every drop of pleasure from her swaying body, making Maca tremble as she approached the limit.  
"Zulema" choked and felt the brunette squeeze even deeper, she felt her internal muscles contract as she flew over the edge, her body twitching, an unbearably rich wave of convulsions that spread through every nerve of her.  
She screamed in relief as she came, her fingers stuck in Zulema's hair, unable to move, unable to catch her breath, unable to do anything other than accept the sensations Zulema was giving her, until she finished, Maca let go, and Zulema slid up her body, joining their lips in a wet kiss, tongues sliding against each other, warm.  
The awareness of being able to taste herself on Zulema's lips made her go through small spasms of residual orgasmic energy.  
  
Maca's head fell back against the pillow and she watched the other woman's jaw clench, her desire manifested silently on her face "that's not all" said Zulema placing her forehead against Maca's, she began to rub against the woman below her.  
Zulema's head slid down Maca's neck, her teeth brushing her throat as Maca sighed in pleasure at the feel of her toy's hard thickness against her wetness.  
Zulema took the toy with one hand and moved it a couple of times along the lips of Maca, covering it with the blonde's arousal and banging her clitoris with each upward movement.  
  
Maca opened her mouth to swear at Zulema, to growl at her not to tease her, but then Zulema positioned the toy at her entrance and pressed only the tip inside, slowly.  
  
The word slipped from her lips, breathless and blissful, and Zulema's hands moved to settle on her hips. Maca's legs hooked around the other woman's waist, and then the toy pressed deeper into her warmth. Maca was feeling incredible, her walls gripping the toy tightly until Zulema slowly pulled out of her to the tip, and then she pushed back firmly as far as she could.  
Maca's breath stopped and her eyes widened. She met Zulema's eyes and they both knew what they were seeing in the other's burning gaze: pure desire and ... _love_.  
  
Zulema wanted to ask her if she was okay but her immediate response was her Maca's hands caressing her back in an attempt to push Zulema further into her.  
So Zulema's hands gripped the other woman's hips and her hips slowly rolled forward as she pushed deeper, listening to the way her Maca moaned, and then she pulled back once more. The next push was a little faster, a little deeper, and then Maca pushed back against her, and they set a pace, moving together.  
Zulema's hips picked up speed, her own body and Maca's responses pushed her to go faster. Maca gasped as she arranged her legs better around Zulema's waist, opening up as wide as she could and allowing Zulema to reach a new point deep inside her that made her tremble and moan constantly, shivers running up and down her body.  
Zulema pulled herself out of her and slammed into her again, with quick movements, burying herself over and over again in Maca's body. She moved her body up a bit, creating a new angle, and that subtle move allowed her to move even faster and crash into Maca even harder and deeper, banging their clits at every thrusts.  
Maca's eyes closed and she swallowed before letting out a moan of pleasure. Zulema's hips swayed again, with ever more inflexible and deep thrusts. The circumference of the toy was almost excessive and the pressure against the walls caused heat to accumulate in Maca's belly.  
The only sounds were moans, gasps and the sound of their wet, sweaty bodies bumping into each other.  
Every now and then Zulema paused for a moment, staying deep inside her Maca, and simply rolled her hips for a few seconds, stimulating Maca's clitoris and massaging the spot deep at the same time. Their foreheads joined, their eyes open as they both enjoyed the sense of intimacy that enveloped them.  
  
The pain between Maca's legs gave way to a raging fire that burned in her belly, wrapping her guts like a spring that wrapped her tightly. Every move Zulema made, every movement of her hips, every breath on her face fueled her flames, driving her arousal higher and higher, bringing her closer to what she knew was going to be a fantastic orgasm. She made a soft sound, more of a whine than a moan, followed by a low moan that increased in pitch as she continued.  
Zulema recognized her signs and once again intensified her steady and quick thrust.  
  
She pulled a hand away from Maca's hip and encircled her clit, enjoying the way Maca's hips bent desperately upward and at her touch.  
  
Each quick spin on her bundle of nerves brought Maca closer and closer to her climax, her pleasure escalating impossibly until she screamed with each thrust inward on Zulema's hips.  
And the toy kept rubbing blissfully in her heat and then- _oh shit_ \- "Zulema, I'm about to-"  
Maca's hands searched for something to cling to, finding the sheets and squeezing them, and then her body stiffened and stopped except for her hips moving almost violently against Zulema.  
There were fireworks exploding behind her as her eyes and her back arched, the chills running up her and down her spine, her spiral in her belly it broke with an enormous impetus from the inside out.  
Her legs tightened around Zulema for a long, long moment before her body lost all tension and almost melted into the mattress.  
Zulema held deep inside Maca for as long as possible, all muscles and tendons tense, until she collapsed, completely exhausted, as if her body were jelly. She barely had the means not to fall on Maca with all her weight, landing halfway on the bed instead.  
  
They stayed like that for a long time, basking in each other's presence, a shiver running through Maca every now and then as aftershocks massaged the toy she was still attached to. They were both smiling when their eyes met, soon followed by their mouths, and they kissed languidly until Maca moved, the toy starting to look like an intrusion. Zulema gently pulled it out and quickly removed her harness, simply dropping it beside the bed before falling half over her Maca.  
  
"This was a _petite mort_ ," Maca said, smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ... I hope you enjoyed it?


	7. VII.

_"This was a petite mort," Maca said smiling._  
Zulema returned the smile and then hid her face in the hollow of Maca's neck.  
  
It was over. She had won. Maca was so satisfied, she would never go back to that guy.  
The blonde surrounded Zulema's body with her arms "are you okay?"  
"Am I okay? How are you?"  
"Well I'm tired but wow... never been better."  
Zulema didn't answer and Maca stroked her hair "what is wrong with you? Why don't you brag about how you are the goddess of sex or something like that?"  
She just wanted Maca to tell her she would never go back to that guy again.  
"Zulema?" called her back "look at me please?"  
The brunette raised her head, placing it on the pillow, right in front of Maca's face.  
She met the blonde's eyes.  
"Then?"  
"I was good, wasn't I?"  
"Of course you were, so what's the problem?"  
Zulema sighed "better than that guy?"  
The realization hit Maca at that moment "that's why you bought a dildo?"  
"Well I thought about what he had that I didn't have."  
Maca burst out laughing "and did you really think it was for a penis, Zulema?"  
  
The brunette shrugged.  
"Did you really not think that maybe he has a nice character, treats me well, is nice to me and is a good person? That he can have millions of qualities that you lack?"  
Zulema was saddened by those words. Obviously she had thought of all those things, but she couldn't buy those in a sex shop.  
Maca smiled to see her like this "anyway I don't like it, Zulema, I just said it to get your reaction."  
"I knew, he’s too boring. And you don't like boring people."  
"No you're right, I like people with twisted minds."  
"I'm flattered."  
"Say you like me too!"  
But Zulema pursed her lips in a grimace.  
"Say it, puta!"  
Zulema smiled "of course I like you."  
Maca smiled "now that you've finally admitted it you can stop that non-sex kissing bullshit and not be together."  
"Maca, I like you physically. I like having sex with you. And sometimes I like having you around but not in that sense."  
Maca laughed "are you kidding, right?"  
"... You told me, didn't you? _This is an arranged marriage_ " _and who the fuck says such a thing in response to the first gift I give you anyway_.  
"Things can change, Zulema. People can change their minds."  
"Look, I'm not able on having a relationship"  
"Are you saying that because it's true or because you are convinced that it is so?" she sat up as she covered herself with the sheet, feeling uncomfortable being naked next to Zulema now.  
"I like having you here, do we have to label it?"  
"Yes, okay? Because labeling it gives me the certainty that I can stop being afraid you won't come back every time you leave."  
"I'll always come back, even when I scream at you that I won't be back. Trust my word."  
"And why would you always come back? Because you like me? No, there is something more. Admit it to yourself."  
"Stop that." she answered annoyed.  
"I saw it in your eyes Zulema and you saw it in mine. It wasn't just sex before."  
"You got carried away by the adrenaline of the moment, Maca, that's enough."  
"It's not the adrenaline of the moment. That wasn't the sex you could have with anyone else."  
"What bullshit is this?"  
"I'm willing to spend the rest of my life with you, coño."  
"You're just making a fool of yourself."  
"I love you too, okay? You don't have to be afraid to say it."  
"You don't understand, I can't give you love."  
"What does that mean?"  
"I don't know how to give you something I don't feel."  
Maca nodded and looked away "okay" replied with a broken voice "then I'll have to go get it from someone else."  
"Maca-"  
"No, no Maca! People need love, Zulema, okay? Especially _broken_ people like us. Don't you want it? Do you want to live forever in a void you created for yourself because you don't even want to try? Good. But don't force me to have the same fate. I want a chance. "  
"Okay. The important thing that you always come back to me."  
Maca laughed "what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Did you do all this to make sure I never saw Adrien again and then ' _the important thing is that you always comes back to me_ '?"  
"Because you are mine," she replied naturally.  
Maca laughed bitterly "you're out of your mind. You know, I think you deserve to be alone, Zulema. You don't deserve my love, you don't deserve anyone's love."  
"I don't seem to have ever asked you for love."  
She just wanted to have Maca next to her. And she wanted no one else to touch her. Without necessarily going to mess everything up with feelings. The facts were more important anyway, weren't they? Why did Maca insist on getting stupid words out of her?  
"It's not about what you asked for but what I want to give you," she tried to explain, "about having a relationship like normal people."  
Zulema sighed "What do you care about others, about normal people? And above all who says what is normal?"  
Maca took her head in her hands "I can't take it anymore with these speeches."  
"Well, me neither, so let's stop."  
Maca got out of bed and began to dress.  
"Can we stop leaving home every time we argue?" snorted Zulema.  
"I'm not leaving," she said, finishing dressing and going back to bed.  
she lay down with her back to Zulema, leaving the brunette a bit confused by that attitude.  
"Maca?" she called "are we okay?"  
"Good night."  
All right, she was angry. She could understand it. She was angry too.  
Sleeping was the best thing to do at the time. They were tired and it was late, maybe sleeping on it would help.  
  
When Zulema woke up in the morning, she was surprised to notice that Maca was not yet asleep next to her.  
It was strange, she never woke up before her.  
She rolled over in bed to look at the rest of the van and perhaps pinpoint where Maca was.  
But her attention was caught by the closet door left open.  
She frowned, not a noise that signaled Maca's presence ...  
_no ... she couldn't have gotten to that point._  
She jumped up and walked to the closet only to find the part that belonged to Maca empty.  
She rushed to look at the bags containing the robbery money. Two were gone.  
Zulema shook her head and smiled bitterly: "What the fuck are you doing, Rubia?" she whispered to the void.  
Then she thought about how Maca had left and looked out the window, letting out a sigh at the sight of the parked car.  
_At least she had left it_...  
  
Zulema's first instinct was to go and find her. But she didn't know exactly where to go. The idiot had probably run to Adrien and had no knowledge of his address.  
But after all, even if she had known about it, should she really have gone?  
Show up at that guy's house like any girlfriend who won't accept a breakup? For what? Hearing Maca tell her to leave and never be seen again? She was the one who had slipped away in the middle of the night, without saying a word and without leaving a note. Maca did not want Zulema to seek her out, or in the first place she would go out of her way to point out that she was leaving and be begged to stay.  
So no, Zulema wouldn't look for her and wouldn't worry.  
_Fuck her_ , she thought.


	8. VIII.

The day passed quietly, without Maca around nothing happened, not even the most useless of conversations.  
Zulema sighed and checked the phone once more. Not that she expected a call from that blonde but... in case she called her, if only to ask her to pick her up somewhere, she wanted to be sure to answer so that she could tell her to fuck off.  
  
And, almost as if she had drawn that event to her, her cell phone lit up with an incoming call and the name _Puta Rubia_ appeared on the screen.  
Zulema smiled and replied " _you are not what everyone needs_ but here we are " she said, quoting the words that the blonde had told her the day before.  
"Hello?"  
The brunette frowned.  
That was not Maca's voice. It was the voice of a man ... Adrien?  
Had something happened to her?  
Why did he have her phone?  
"Who are you and why are you calling by a phone that isn't yours?"  
"My name is Adrien, you are the first number in Luisa's phone book... wait, are you the woman who punched me in that club?"  
"In person."  
"Well I am not surprised that you are saved with _puto elfo del infierno_ " he swallowed "before you can rush here and kill me, _Luisa_ is fine." he hastened to say.  
That stupid blonde had really run away to take refuge in the arms of someone who didn't even know her real name. Who she really was and what she did for living. This said a lot about how much she trusted him.  
Zulema didn't answer, waiting for him to continue.  
If the Rubia was fine, why call her?  
And not that she should have called in case she wasn't.   
They weren't a couple or a family. They were nothing.  
"I am calling you because she has let loose," the man continued, "but now she does nothing but cry."  
Zulema smiled to imagine that scene "Did she drink? Did she take drugs?"  
"Both, actually" the man's tone sounded almost embarrassed "you see, it was funny at first but she definitely overdid it. And I think the consequences won't be pleasant."  
"And tell me, why is this my problem?"  
"Um ... I don't know, I thought I'd call someone who knows her more than me, you know, I don't know how to handle her. And isn't she like your problem? Your girlfriend or something?"  
"Nothing like that," she answered promptly, "you wanted her, right? Ever since you first saw her in that club. Well now you have her, take care of her. Or maybe you don't care that much because she's not just a simple blonde to take to bed anymore? "  
"Listen - hmm what's your name?"  
"None of your business."  
"Ok well, last time you literally punched me because you didn't like me being with her, what's the matter now?"  
"The problem is, she ran away from home in the middle of the night without even leaving a note. I won't take her back to where she ran away. To who she ran from."  
"Oh, that must be why she cries," he murmured.  
"what?"  
"I told you, she's crying."  
"No, you didn't tell me."  
"I said it now ... and honestly, I think that's why."  
Zulema snorted "I won't come and get her anyway."  
"As you want. But maybe she wants to come back and she doesn't know how to umm deal with you ... I don't think you're an easy person to deal with."  
"Who the fuck are you a psychologist?"  
Adrien laughed "listen, she's alive and she's fine but she's ... _sick_."  
"I don’t care."  
"All right, I'll write you the address anyway in case you change your mind."  
"It won't happen," she replied, then hung up.  
Maca had to crawl back as much as she cared. And maybe, only then, she would forgive her.  
  
The message from Maca's phone, containing the address, arrived shortly thereafter.  
Zulema opened it on Maps, just out of curiosity.  
The little guy's house wasn't even far away, forty-five minutes at the most.  
Driving fast even thirty.  
But she wouldn't go there. Because Maca didn't deserve it. She was gone with her damn feet of hers, she could use them too to come back if she was really crying for her.  
  
Well she was probably crying about what the mix of drugs and alcohol had created in her head. It wasn't such a strange reaction. Sure, Maca always tended to enjoy herself when she took one or the other, but she could handle it.  
It was nothing new to her. But it was new outside those four walls.  
What if that guy, not knowing what to do, would call an ambulance to get rid of her?  
Zulema put her hands to her face and sighed. They would have recognized and arrested her. And Adrien would probably have kept the money. _Her_ money.  
She wanted to go get her just to kill her.  
  
And it was the only thing to do by the way.  
That money had to be recovered. So she convinced herself to do it, just for that.  
Maca could also stay where she was ... or go somewhere else, alone.  
She didn't care.  
_You're not going there for her_ , she told herself.  
And this had to be kept in mind because the probability of changing her mind just by seeing her, once she got there, was very high.  
And she didn't have to get distracted or soften. Not this time.  
  
She got in the car and unwillingly drove as if her life depended on it. As if the time she had available was to expire. The closer she got to that individual's house, the more she accelerated because suddenly the idea of Maca not perfectly able to understand and want became stronger, more alive, _real._  
  
She arrived at her destination, she parked in front of that house and rushed out of the car, only to ring the bell too many times in a matter of seconds.  
The man immediately opened "are you out of your mind?" he asked her  
"Everyone tells me" Zulema answered making her way into that house "Maca?" she called her.  
"I thought you didn't care."  
"I only care what she brought with her."  
"Oh, you mean the two bags full of money?"  
Zulema took a moment to record that sentence and think "where are they?" she asked "and why are you going through other people stuff?"  
"To be sure what a perfect stranger brings into my house."  
"Speaking of which, why are you letting a complete stranger into the house?" she replied back "Maca !!" she called once more.  
"She won't hear you, she's passed out on the sofa."  
Zulema pushed him to make his way into the house, glimpsing the living room just behind the arch that separated it from the antechamber.  
She rushed into the room and saw her, lying on the sofa, in overalls and sweatshirt, with tousled hair and half-open mouth.  
An image that had amused her several times, but not at that moment.  
She approached "Rubia."  
No reply.  
"Wake Up!"  
Still nothing. Then she knelt down to be closer to her and gently stroked her hair "Maca, wake up we have to go."  
The blonde slowly opened her eyes, and gave Zulema a huge smile "Zulemaaaaaa" her voice still quite groggy "you came to get meee."  
The brunette turned to look at Adrien. _Shit_. Now he knew her name.  
"You have to get up," she pulled herself to her feet.  
"Why?"  
"Let's go home."  
"Already?"  
"Maca, coño, get up! You have already done enough!" she admonished her, trying to cut off any subsequent questions.  
But the blonde burst into tears "why are you treating me so badly."  
Zulema grabbed her arm, forcing her to get up "stop crying and talking."  
"I'm not going with you," she said trying to free herself from that grip.  
"I'll get you out of here dead or alive, it's up to you."  
"I don't want to go with you, you don't want me!"  
"Maca, this is not the right time," she tried to drag her towards the entrance.  
"Leave me!"  
Zulema turned to Adrien "the bags, take them."  
The man disappeared into the next room with extreme speed, while Maca still struggled.  
"I said I don't want to come, you can't force me."  
Zulema let go of her arm just to bring her hands to frame her face "come home with me, please" she whispered, looking her straight in the eye "you rest, we talk and if you want to leave for good it's okay but we will divide things equally and ... we'll say goodbye. You can't leave like this. "  
Maca stared at her with her big sweet eyes, now red with tears, and nodded slowly.  
Adrien carried all that belonged to Maca to the entrance and was joined by the two women.  
"I hope for you that there is every penny in those bags" said Zulema "otherwise by now you know who I am, don't you? And I know where to look for you."  
“T-there is everything" stammered the man "really."  
"Forget my name, and seeing us in here."  
"Consider it already done."  
The brunette gave him the best smile of her "maybe after all you are a good boy, you know?" she said as she slid a bag over her shoulder and took the other two with one hand.  
"And thanks for calling me" she wrapped her arm around Maca's shoulders "I'll take care of it from here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ignore the double notes below and sorry for the delay <3


	9. IX

"Don't ever do that to me!" Zulema said as she drove home "yelling, slamming the doors and not coming home is okay but not that way. Without even telling me. How the fuck does that come to your mind? What are you, fifteen? Running away from your parents in the middle of the night? " she glanced at the passenger seat, noticing Maca dozing off.  
She rolled her eyes. _Obviously_.  
  
Arriving at their destination, Zulema thought that Maca would wake up not feeling the movement of the car anymore. But the blonde continued to sleep, evidently tired and worn out all day.  
Zulema didn't want to wake her up again and she took a moment to look at her.  
  
_You're not going there for her_. Her own words echoed in her head.  
She smiled.  
It was gone as planned, right?  
  
She wondered why that blondie always had to be so inevitable for her. Even when she set a limit. Even when she swore to herself that she couldn't stand her anymore, even when she left home promising never to come back, her feet always brought her back there, always to that van, always to that blondie.  
  
_Maybe your feet take you where you are meant to be_. She thought.  
  
Or maybe her subconscious was leading her to the only person who could stand her, despite everything.  
From the one person who ... loved her.  
_Stupid blondie._  
How could she say she loved her? What the fuck did she know about love, anyway? She barely had three relationships - as far as Zulema knew - and they had been one worse than the other.  
Not that the one with her was the best ...  
That Maca only attracted potentially destructive people? Was she kind of predisposed to fall in love with people like that?  
Well at least Zulema was not a selfish bitch who would have allowed her to get involved in such a relationship once again. No, she would have prevented it.  
If she was so keen on having yet another toxic relationship, she had to go find it somewhere else, not with her.  
  
For a moment Zulema thought of letting her sleep there all night, but she was a little cold and then she told Maca they would talk and decide what to do. And having her wake up in the car wasn't the best of her beginnings ...  
  
She decided to get out of the car, go to the passenger door, open the door and take Maca in her arms.  
As she carried her to the van she smiled at the idea of looking like one of those knights who bring princesses to safety. Or a married couple who cross the threshold of their home for the first time.  
In another situation it would have been pretty romantic, but not in this one.  
  
She placed Maca on her bed, took off her shoes and covered her with a blanket.  
She took a moment to look at her, messed up the tufts of her fringe a little.  
Until a few hours before she thought she would never see her again, and now she is there, at home, safe. On their bed.  
She wondered why someone's worth should always be understood when it is about to be lost.  
And she worried that she almost physically feel the pain of losing Maca.  
She felt it in the adrenaline rushing through her veins as she ran to get her. In the worried tone of her voice as she called her through that house without getting an answer.  
In the sigh of relief that she released when she saw her lying on that sofa.  
  
No, feeling that pain wasn't a good thing. She must have been afraid of it, it was dangerous and a weakness. And she couldn't afford to have another weakness, not after Fatima.  
She had seen what happens to having weaknesses. She lost, always.  
And she was so tired of losing.  
Her life had made her realize that she couldn't afford to love even a single human being because would be taken away from her, somehow. Anyone who loved her would pay with their life in the end, just because they loved her.  
It was a cruel fate, hers, which apparently could not change.  
  
And love was not what they wanted her to believe, it did not solve anything, rather it made everything worse.  
  
She lit a cigarette and went to sit in front of the small table in the kitchen where she had left the book she was currently reading.  
She opened it to the page she had marked with a crease in the corner and began reading to distract herself from all those thoughts and find some refuge in stories that didn't directly involve her.  
  
But, apparently, wasn't in the universe's plan to leave her alone.  
Because just a couple of lines below, the book quoted:  
" _Love is freedom, if it oppresses you, if it limits you, if it throws you down, if it crushes you, if it makes you feel foolish or inferior to others ... run away._ "  
  
She almost frightened herself at the idea that the only time she had felt free with someone, in a long time, was with Maca. In that van, doing robberies and carrying on that type life.  
Would she have felt free the same way if Maca hadn't been there?  
From how the world seemed to have fallen on her when she woke up in the morning and Maca was not next to her no, she would not feel free in the same way.  
  
_Stupid book_ she thought, pulling it against the van wall.  
There was a noise coming from the side of the van where Maca was and Zulema turned only to see her get up and run to the bathroom.  
She heard her throw up and rolling her eyes she put out her cigarette, and went to help her ... Adrien was right about her. The consequences were far from pleasant.  
  
She found her sitting on the floor, lying on the toilet, half face leaning against the seat.  
"Pull up" she told her, taking her by the shoulders and pulling her back a little.  
"No no I'll throw up again."  
She sat down on the floor too, leaning against the wall nearby "ok but at least get off the toilet."  
Maca did as she was told and moved over to Zulema, then resting her head on her shoulder  
"I'm sorry," she whispered.  
"For what?"  
"For everything."  
Zulema smiled "what a meaningless answer."  
"But it's true."  
"I would like you to think about things before doing them, because I'm sorry are useless."  
Maca narrowed her eyes with a pang of headache "but if you are never wrong how can you learn?" she said, then went back to the toilet and throw up again, then flushing the toilet.  
"I'll take you an painkiller if you're done. And then you go to bed."  
Maca nodded slowly "you came to get me, anyway."  
"Because you took my money."  
"The money are mine too."  
"But they can’t be split the way you did," she said as she stood up and walked back into the kitchen corner.  
She filled a glass of water and took an aspirin from the door, then returned to the bathroom.  
"This will do you good," she said, handing it to Maca who put the aspirin in her mouth and swallowed it with a sip of water.  
  
Zulema took some toilet paper, dipped it under the tap, and squatted down to be at Maca's height. She passed the wet paper around her mouth to wipe it off "back to bed, come on" helped her up from the floor and wrapping an arm around her body, they walked together to the bed.  
  
"You know what I think?" Maca said.  
"Mmh" Zulema murmured in response.  
"That you must really love me so much if you do all this for me."  
"If you want to be thrown to the ground just ask."  
Maca chuckled.  
Zulema put her on the bed and felt Maca's wrist tug "sleep with me."  
It wasn't exactly a request but a real statement.  
"No, I'll smoke a cigarette" and those words were enough to make Maca let go.  
"Talk to me until I fall asleep then" she settled on the bed, pulling the blanket over her.  
"I'm not in the mood, Rubia," Zulema explained as she opened the van door and sat down on the steps.  
"I can't stand this silence."  
"Silence is beautiful."  
Maca liked to be silent with Zulema. She never felt embarrassed or the need to speak, but not now.  
"Yes, but this is a strange, different silence ... it scares me."  
"Even scared?" she began to arrange the tobacco on the paper.  
"I’m afraid of what it might mean."  
Zulema smiled "it means I have nothing to say."  
"Sing, then."  
"I don't sing." Not in front of anyone, at least.  
She licked the paper and closed her cigarette, tapping it softly against her knee to compact the tobacco, then extracting the lighter from one of the cargo pants pockets and lighting it.  
"I've heard you sing before."  
"It's not true."  
"Yes, sometimes you do it when you are lost in thought."  
"And what am I singing? Let's hear"  
"You hum melodies ..."  
Which could be true. She very often found herself absorbed so much by the memories to forget where she was and what she was doing ... she maybe sang unconsciously too.  
"I don't think you deserve a song for tonight, hmm? You should thank me for at least speaking to you again."  
"I knew that silence wasn't good," Maca's slumbering voice muttered.  
"Obviously I'm angry, can you blame me? You left like that, without telling me anything ... not even if you were a thief, coño, what do you think? We are wanted all over the country and you leave like it was nothing to go to a guy that you met in a bar? What the fuck! Do you understand that I will have to kill him if he talks? And thank goodness it didn't occur to you to let him come here to get you or we'd be even more in shit.”  
Maca didn't answer.  
Maybe she felt guilty, Zulema thought.   
She pulled back a little to look at her and found that she had fallen asleep.  
She rolled her eyes.  
That discussion was once again postponed.

**Author's Note:**

> Should I keep writing it? haha


End file.
